To be polyamorous means to love in the romantic and emotional sense multiple partners not just physically or platonically, it is an ethical non-monogamous type of relationship.

Being polyamorous means that you have the ability to have more than one lover at a time and be able to lead an independent life without considering partners as primary or secondary.

In the case of married couples, which are either both poly or just one, consider their marriage home base and they are open to multiple partners.

There are variations where one partner that is involved in a polyamorous relationship may identify as monogamous. They are called poly-mono.

They understand their partner’s desires and respect them, without taking part in the same lifestyle, being happy and content with the dynamic they already have.

This does not mean that you are unable to commit or that you are open to group sex. Not at all. It should be done with free will and coming from a deeper connection than just exchanging body fluids and it does not justify cheating.

Cheating does not exist in polyamorous relationships because both of the parties involved are required to be completely honest about their other relationships.

Polyamory as I see it happening today is frequently being used as an excuse to have multiple sex partners or getting into having meaningless connections and toxic partnerships considering it a sideline rather than a lifestyle.

Polyamory is based on a relationship that requires impeccable communication skills and it has to be consented by all partners, setting boundaries and rules.

Remember while negotiating that rules are to be enforced and may feel limiting and at times controlling. Depending on each individuals dynamic, rules can apply for work space, home (especially when children are involved), parties or social settings.

Boundaries are simply limits that are not imposed but you have to know yourself very well in order to set them. They can be easily adjusted depending on the situation.

Communication and transparency is key. If your motivation is to never hurt your partner’s emotions and if you lead by respect, honesty and integrity you will definitely find that you are making the right steps into blooming a wonderful relationship.

Here are a few examples of emotional and physical boundaries that can be negotiated and discussed by partners that are looking into starting a polyamorous relationship:

Emotional boundaries:

•         Establishing if you are building a deep long lasting relationship or just casual.
•         Sharing details about your experiences: do’s/don’ts.
•         Are you sharing your polyamorous status in public?
•         Consider your motivations and your partners.

Physical boundaries:

•         Is kissing allowed? Some partners feel that it is more intimate than sex.
•         Sharing space with your partner’s partner.
•         What kind of intimacy is allowed?

If these very important steps are not taken, then the misconceptions about what kind a relationship of this is, can lead to judgement, abuse and even legal problems.

Polyamory has so many benefits:  it can help improve one’s ability to listen, develops communication skills, it can make loved ones more comfortable with sharing vulnerabilities, improves the relationship with their body and become more comfortable in their own skin and teaches one respect and transparency.

Emma Banu
(FF General Manager)
Like what you see?
Find out more…
goddessemma.com